{"id":37129,"date":"2019-11-11T14:05:55","date_gmt":"2019-11-11T14:05:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mindful.org\/?p=37129"},"modified":"2026-03-31T16:18:43","modified_gmt":"2026-03-31T16:18:43","slug":"four-ways-to-calm-your-mind-in-stressful-times","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mindful.org\/four-ways-to-calm-your-mind-in-stressful-times\/","title":"Four Ways to Calm Your Mind in Stressful Times","content":{"rendered":"\n

Life throws chaos at us on a regular basis\u2014whether it\u2019s our finances, our relationships, or our health. In the work world, around 50 percent of people are burned out in industries like\u00a0health care<\/a>,\u00a0ba<\/a>n<\/a>king<\/a>, and\u00a0nonprofits, and employers spend\u00a0$300 billion per year<\/a>\u00a0on workplace-related stress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, we just keep on pushing through, surviving on adrenaline. We overschedule ourselves; we drink another coffee; we respond to one more email. If we stay amped up all the time, we think, we\u2019ll eventually be able to get things done.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But all that does is burn us out, drain our productivity, and lead to exhaustion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s another way\u2014a calmer way. Cultivating a more restful, relaxed state of mind doesn\u2019t mean we\u2019ll drown under all our responsibilities. Instead, research suggests it will bring us greater attention, energy, and creativity to tackle them. And science also points to simple ways we can tap into that calm state of mind to be more resilient in our chaotic lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A stressed mind vs. a calm mind<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Stress was never meant to be a 24\/7 experience. As Stanford professor\u00a0Robert Sapolsky\u00a0explains, you\u2019re really only supposed to feel stressed in the five minutes right before you die. When you are being chased in the savanna by a wild animal, your stress response is supposed to save your life\u2014it mobilizes your attention, muscles, and immune system to get you quickly out of danger. When animals escape, they come right out of fight-or-flight mode and into \u201crest-and-digest\u201d mode, where the parasympathetic nervous system is working to replenish their resources.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That stress response is supposed to be short-lived because it wears down your body, your health, and your energy. It also impacts things like your\u00a0emotional intelligence\u00a0and your decision making. When you\u2019re tightly wound up<\/a>, you are more likely to react to situations than to respond with reason.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You also perceive the world differently. Stress makes us narrowly focused, preventing us from seeing the bigger picture. When we\u2019re calmer, our attention becomes broader. In fact, we literally see more things. In one\u00a0study<\/a>, participants went through a three-month meditation training. They then engaged in something called the attentional blink task, in which you watch images appear rapidly one after another. Usually when people do this exercise, their attention doesn\u2019t pick up all of the target images. But after that mindfulness training, participants were able to pick up more of the target images than pre-retreat\u2014suggesting that their state of mind had become more attentive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Being able to attend more means that you notice more things about other people and you\u2019re able to communicate with them in more powerful ways. High stress and anxiety (or any kind of negative emotion) make us self-focused, for an evolutionary reason: When our ancestors were stressed, it was because they were in a survival situation. It was good to be focused on yourself so you could save your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we\u2019re stressed, we\u2019re less likely to notice if a colleague looks burned out or sad and more likely to get irritated if they don\u2019t perform as we expect. However, when you\u2019re in a calmer and happier place, that\u2019s probably the day when you will have more empathy: You\u2019ll notice your colleague and take the time to reach out and ask if there\u2019s anything you can do to support them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you\u2019re calm, you also manage your energy because you\u2019re not burning yourself up constantly, spending your days with your sympathetic nervous system in overdrive. Calm helps you focus on what you need to do and get it done much more quickly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Calmness can also impact your creativity.\u00a0Research<\/a>\u00a0suggests that our most creative ideas come in moments when we\u2019re not actively focused or stressed. We are most creative when our brain is in alpha wave mode, which is a relaxed state of mind\u2014like when you\u2019re in the shower or taking a walk in nature. Indeed, people who\u00a0go on an immersive nature retreat<\/a>\u00a0for four days come back with 50 percent increased creativity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to get the most out of yourself in terms of your productivity, creativity, and innovation\u2014making progress at work or just solving the basic problems of life that you\u2019re faced with\u2014calm is the key.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Four ways to cultivate a calm state of mind<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

We know how to become stressed. Most of us are really good at activating our adrenal system and getting wound up. The question becomes, then, how do you wind down? Research suggests several practices that not only feel good but also put us into a calmer, more relaxed state\u2014a state from which we can cope better with whatever life throws at us. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Practice Breathing Exercises<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Jake, who appears in my book\u00a0The Happiness Track<\/em>, was a U.S. Marine officer in charge of a Humvee on a convoy across Afghanistan, when his vehicle drove over an improvised explosive device. After the explosion, he looked down and saw that his legs were severely fractured below the knee. In that moment of shock, terror, and pain, he remembered a breathing exercise that he had read about for extreme wartime situations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It allowed him to do his duty, which was to check on everyone else in the vehicle. It gave him the presence of mind to give orders to call for help, and to then tourniquet his own legs and prop them up before he fell unconscious\u2014which saved his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our breathing is a powerful way for us to regulate our emotions, and it is something we take for granted. Through your breath, you can activate your parasympathetic nervous system\u2014the calming response in your body.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why we turned to breathing to help veterans\u201450 percent of whom don\u2019t see any improvement in their trauma symptoms from therapy or medication. The veterans were skeptical, but we began teaching them different breathing exercises. Within a couple of days, some of them started sleeping without medication; after the week-long program, many of them didn\u2019t qualify as having post-traumatic stress anymore, and that persisted up to a year later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Using your breath, you can change how you feel. In another\u00a0study, researchers observed people feeling different emotions and found that there was a different pattern of breath for each one. Then, they gave other people the different breathing patterns to perform and asked them, \u201cHow do you feel?\u201d It turned out that doing those breathing exercises actually evoked the emotions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of the most calming breathing exercises you can do is to breathe in (e.g., to a count of four), hold, and then breathe out for up to twice as long (e.g., to a count of six or eight). You can gently constrict your throat, making a sound like the ocean, which is used in deep relaxation breathing. As you\u2019re doing this, especially thanks to those long exhales, you\u2019re activating the parasympathetic nervous system, reducing your heart rate and blood pressure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Adopt an Attitude of Self-compassion<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Often we are our worst critic. We think that being self-critical will help us be more self-aware and make us work harder, but that\u2019s a myth. In fact, according to a good deal of\u00a0research<\/a>, self-criticism destroys our resilience. We\u2019re less able to learn from our mistakes when we beat ourselves up. Self-critical people tend to have greater anxiety and depression, and an inability to bounce back from struggles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Imagine someone running a marathon for the very first time in their life, and they trip and fall. Someone on the sidelines says, \u201cYou\u2019re a loser, you\u2019re so not a runner. What are you doing here? Go home.\u201d That person is our internal, self-critical voice. Self-compassion is somebody on the other side, who says, \u201cEverybody falls, this is normal. You are so awesome, you\u2019re totally killing this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Self-compassion is the ability to be mindful of your emotions\u2014aware of the emotions that are going on inside whenever you fail at something. It doesn\u2019t mean you identify with them; you can just observe and notice them, without feeding the fire. Self-compassion also involves understanding that everyone makes mistakes and that it\u2019s part of being human. And it is the ability to speak to yourself the way you would speak to a friend who just failed, warmly and kindly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we adopt this attitude, research suggests, we are calmer\u2014we have\u00a0less feelings of stress\u00a0as well as\u00a0lower cortisol levels. We\u2019re also more resilient: We\u2019re\u00a0less afraid of failure, and more motivated to\u00a0improve ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Foster Genuine Connection <\/h3>\n\n\n\n

How often are we actually present for another person 100 percent? When was the last time somebody was 100 percent present with you, even your spouse?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s a loneliness epidemic in the United States and across the world. We know that those feelings of loneliness are extremely destructive to our body and mind, leading to\u00a0worse health and even earlier death<\/a>. And the stress and lack of calm in today\u2019s world may contribute to this loneliness because of the way that it tends to make us self-focused.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our greatest human need, after food and shelter, is to connect with other people in a positive way. From the moment we\u2019re born until our last day, we have a deep and profound longing to belong to one another. And when we fulfill that need, it brings us more calm: The oxytocin and natural opioids that we release when we connect may exert a\u00a0calming influence<\/a>\u00a0on our bodies, and the knowledge that we have the support of others can soothe our minds. When we face adversity, research suggests that our relationships and community have an\u00a0important role to play<\/a>\u00a0in our resilience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So how do we create a state of mind where we feel more connected?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The good news is that by taking care of yourself and your own well-being with practices like breathing and self-compassion, you are able to turn more attention outward to feel more connected, as well. Positive emotions like calm naturally make us\u00a0feel closer\u00a0to other people. You can try\u00a0specific practices<\/a>\u00a0that research has found to boost your sense of connection, as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Practice Having Compassion for Others<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Imagine a day when things aren\u2019t going well for you\u2014you spilled your coffee on yourself, and it\u2019s raining. And then a friend calls who\u2019s having a true emergency in their life, and you jump up and go help them immediately. What happens to your state of mind in that moment?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All of a sudden you have high energy; you\u2019re completely at their service. That is what practicing altruism, service, and compassion does to your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It increases your well-being tremendously, as many of us have experienced when we perform little acts of kindness. When we\u00a0feel compassion, our heart rate goes down and our parasympathetic nervous system is\u00a0more activated<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kindness and compassion can also help protect us from adversity. In one of my favorite\u00a0studies<\/a>, researchers found that people who had been through traumatic life situations had a shorter lifespan. But among these participants, there was a small group of people who just seemed to keep on living. What was going on with these people?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the researchers dug a little deeper, they found that they were all engaged in helping friends and family in their life\u2014from assisting with transportation or shopping to housework and child care. Service is one of the most profound ways to nourish the community around you, but also to nourish, inspire, and energize yourself. It\u2019s like that children\u2019s book\u2014when you fill someone\u2019s bucket, it also fills yours.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cultivating calm isn\u2019t about avoiding every kind of stressful emotion. In fact, when we make time to breathe, connect, and care, some of the negative feelings we\u2019ve been running from might catch up with us. But that\u2019s the time for self-compassion; it\u2019s okay to feel bad. Resilience doesn\u2019t mean that we\u2019ll be happy all the time, but it does mean we have the energy, the mindset, and the support from others to help us weather the storm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This article was adapted from\u00a0Greater Good<\/a>, the online magazine of UC Berkeley\u2019s Greater Good Science Center, one of Mindful\u2019s partners.\u00a0View the original article.<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Read More<\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n
\n\t
\n\t\t
\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\"worried\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tLearn\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/header>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t
\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\tThe Mindfulness Skill That Is Crucial for Stress<\/a> \t\t\t\t<\/h6>\n\t\t\t\t

\n\t\t\t\t\tA study suggests that practicing acceptance helps reduce our stress more than simple mindful awareness.\n\t\t\t\t\tRead More<\/span> \"\"<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t